When your baby arrives into the world, we think of how cute and tiny they are. With their adorable faces and innocent smiles. It is hard not to marvel at the miracle of life. But many parents are not prepared for the lack of sleep and the struggle they may face. The earlier you introduce healthy sleep habits the easier life will be for you and your baby.

Sleep Environment

Darkness

I recommend to make their room as dark as possible. The reason I suggest this is because at around 6 weeks of age they already know day and night and between 8-12 weeks of age babies start to produce their own melatonin, the sleep hormone, and this is far more readily produced in darkness.

White Noise

I recommend white noise for all their naps. It needs to play continuously for the duration of their naps and overnight sleep if they are unsettled. This is effective all the way up until about 12 months old and can be particularly helpful for newborns as it simulates the sound they hear in the womb. It needs to be very loud to be effective.

Swaddling

I recommend swaddling until between 4-6months of age, as the Moro (startle) reflex is often still very strong up until around 3 months old and can cause disruption from sleep. I recommend an arms down swaddle or a large wrap.

Monitor awake times

To help encourage them to start to take more consistent naps it is important to look at the time they are awake between naps and ensure its age appropriate. The reason for this is we want them tired enough to sleep well, without being so overtired that they find it difficult to sleep at all. For a newborn, we look at around 45 mins to 1hour awake time. A new born can become overtired very quickly. I recommend you set a timer from the minute they are awake and set it for 45 minutes and watch closely for tired signs. By the time they are 3 months old their awake times will increase to 1.45hour and up to 2 hours at 4 months.

Tired signs

Tired signs are these: they have been looking at you or interacting with you, and suddenly they look away, they have lost attention; their eyelids begin to droop just a bit and it’s getting harder for them to keep their eyes open; they zone right out with a glazed look in their eye. They arch their back and begin to squirm. They yawn, you’d better have their swaddle ready for sleep, because, the window is closing and if they get a second wind, they will begin to cry, and you may have to wait to the end of their next awake cycle before they will be ready to go to sleep. And they will probably cry while you wait out that 90 minutes of this alert cycle.

What are assisted naps

If your baby is not sleeping for long stretches, anything less than 90 minutes of sleep is not a full nap, it is sometimes easier to hold your baby for a nap or go for a walk and let your baby fall asleep in a stroller or pop them in a front pack in order to artificially induce longer stretches of sleep. Offer some naps in the bassinet and some naps on the go until their sleep matures, this will give you the flexibility to keep them rested, while also allowing them to maintain good habits in their room and bassinet.

Why do we do assisted naps

For newborns the aim of the assisted naps is to get your baby used to sleeping for longer stretches, which will help them to sleep through the night as soon as they is physically able to.

When are assisted naps appropriate?

Assisted naps are great for newborns from birth up to around 3 months. After 3 months I encourage you to allow your baby to become familiar with their room and sleep environment so this is their sanctuary where they recognise this is their environment where they sleep.

How to stop assisted naps

It is important to stop assisted naps, otherwise this may become a sleep association for them. All babies stir or wake at the end of each sleep cycle, and need to be able to resettle themselves back to sleep each time in order to sleep for long stretches. Until your baby can fall asleep by themselves, they will continue to wake crying and need your help to fall back to sleep.

One of the key issues to address with self-settling is sleep associations. This means – what does your baby think they needs to fall asleep? If they have a sleep association that involves you they will think they need you to fall back to sleep.

The most age appropriate settling technique for new born is the shush pat. The shush pat does take time and dedication to be effective but is very easy to back off from when they have the hang of it and is a good ‘no cry’ approach to teaching them to sleep with assistance and then removing this.

If they are really really crying, once in their basinette, pat them firm and fast and continue until they begins to calm down, as they become calmer reduce your patting to a tick tock, tick tock as they gradually stops crying, leave your hand on them untill they are asleep.

If they are fully crying for 5 – 10 minutes pick them up and continue to pat them, on their side, in your arms. So what you are doing t is side settling them, as they calm down, say about 90 % asleep, place them in their basinette and continue to leave your hands on their until they are completely calm and fall asleep.They will begin to associate patting with falling asleep. At first this may be in your arms but untimately you will settle them in their bassinette

As they gets used to going to sleep with patting this will make backing it off much easier, as you get to a point wtheire you can give them a cuddle and light pat over your shoulder and this is their sleep cue, so you then pop them in their basinette fully awake and they will go to sleep..

Nightmares and night terrors are both scary and can cause sleep disturbances, but they are not the same thing. Knowing some of the main differences can help you understand what’s going on and discover possible steps you can take to improve sleep.

Nightmares are defined as dreams with strong negative emotions which awaken your child. A nightmare begins as a normal dream and turns frightening towards the end. Most scary dreams are quickly forgotten! If your child is having a nightmare they can be awakened and consoled and it will spontaneously subside.

Night mares can occur as young as 2 years, however, evidence shows the highest prevalence between the ages of 5 and 10 years.

 Typical signs of nightmares

• Nightmares occur during REM sleep when the brain is most prone to vivid dreaming.

• The dreams are scary and unsettling and vividly recalled.

• They occur later at night or early-morning hours when the brain reaches that part of the sleep cycle.

• Typically, your child will awaken immediately with a pretty clear recall of the bad dream. (but quickly forgotten)

• Often, children will want to talk about the bad dream and have you reassure them that everything is ok.

Typical signs of Night Terror

• Your 3 – 10 year old utters a piercing scream and you run into their room!

• They appear wild-eyed, anxious and frightened and may shout, sleepwalk, or appear scared for several minutes before relaxing back into sleep.

• You cannot wake them up and you cannot comfort them.

• Later they will only have a vague recall of the dream.

• More common between 4 – 8 years

• Night terrors are a sleep disorder, resulting from a partial arousal during slow-wave sleep.

• Night terrors tend to occur earlier, during non-REM sleep.

• They usually occur within 2 hours of sleep onset and are characterized by agitation and unresponsiveness to external stimuli.

Although it can be distressing to see your child experiencing a night terror they aren’t harmful and chances are they won’t even remember it in the morning.

Here are some tips for helping your child with nightmares:

1. Talk to your child during the day about ways to soothe and cope with nightmares.

2. Give your child a comfort object such as a stuffed animal to protect them.

3. Avoid scary movies, stories, or TV shows, especially before bed.

4. If your child wakes up from a nightmare, calm them down and assure them that they are safe.

5. Don’t bring your child into your bedroom or sleep in theirs when they are afraid. This will quickly result in a bad habit.

6. Praise your child for “being brave” and falling asleep on their own after a nightmare.

If you suspect your child is not really having nightmares and running into your room at night and wanting to get into bed with you. I have found “magical monster spray” works a treat. Spray a bit of scented water at bedtime, to ward off monsters, or doing monster hunts around the room (to prove to the child that no monsters are there.) And these certainly can work.

Whether the concern is night terrors or nightmares, if frightening dreams are keeping you or your child awake at night for several nights (or weeks) in a row, consider talking with your doctor.

There is so much uncertainty surrounding Covid-19 and what our future may look like. Especially now, as we have been asked to physically distance ourselves from others around us and we are almost being entirely confined to our homes.

Baby Sleep Consultants are still working during Covid-19. In fact, we are all very busy as families struggle with being at home, working and entertaining the kids, life can be very hectic and unpredictable. The extra work load within the home and lack of support from family and friends has left many parents vulnerable to increased risks of postpartum depression and anxiety.

I am sure you have had plenty of family time in the past two months with lack of outings and activities and the stress of being stuck inside, our daily schedules have been thrown out the window while we are juggling working from home and entertaining the kids.

Your babies and toddlers need fresh air and sunshine and to burn off that excess energy so they are not wide-eyed at bedtime. The increased use of screens with distance learning and occupying their day, is totally understandable, but can interfere with sleep. Screens give a blue light, which can suppress the release of melatonin, a hormone, when released assists with sleep.

Many babies and toddlers are experiencing sleep regressions during this time. This unpredictable time is even more challenging when you have a baby or toddler who is;

• Waking frequently at night

• Experiencing a sleep regression

• Will only sleep in your arms

• Having short cat naps

• Early morning wake ups

• Getting out of bed

Adequate sleep is linked to all the things we need right now - boosted immune systems, greater attention spans, stronger emotional regulation, and much more.

You can tackle both – sleep and the uncertainty your child is facing - helping your entire family get the sleep you all need!

Prioritise outdoor activity

The benefits of outdoor activity are endless for our children’s from health, creativity, and social interaction, physical and mental well-being. When it comes to sleep it gives them the boost of sunshine they need. The brain tunes its "inner clock" using light cues, so going outdoors can help children maintain healthy sleep rhythms. They burn off excess energy to ensure they are adequately tired before bed time.

Maintain consistent nap routine

Sticking to a consistent nap schedule is very important. Though it might be tempting to move naps around to accommodate your zoom calls, try not to get too far off the regular schedule. Provided you have age appropriate awake times and encourage a longer nap in the middle of the day, this also gives you the break you need and ensures your baby is well rested and happy.

Early Bed Time Advantages

The best time for all children and toddlers to go to bed is between 6-7pm. An early bedtime can mean much more restful sleep for your child, and it is often much easier to implement than parents think. Here are the benefits of an early bedtime for your children.

• Quicker to fall sleep

• Less resistance at bedtime

• Less bedtime battles

• Quality family time before bed

• Less early morning wake ups

• More overall sleep time

• A healthier happier child

• More quality time for parents

Most importantly be kind to yourself and other around you.

For more information, check out the Sleep During the COVID-19 Pandemic resources;

Sleep for parents and their babies

Children’s sleep during the COVID-19 pandemic – Tips for parents

Tips to support better sleep and daytime functioning

As a certified sleep consultant and a mother, I know firsthand, early morning wakes up can be frustrating at any age and a tough habit to break for some babies and toddlers.

The definition of early morning waking is when your baby wakes between 4:00 – 6:00 am. Waking after 6am is considered waking for the day and waking before 4 am is considered night time wake up. The preferred wake time for babies is 7am, however, depending on their age and your family dynamics 6am for some families, is acceptable.

We all have sleep drive, this is the feeling of being tired and ready for sleep. Sleep drive builds up during the day because our circadian rhythm is optimal for sleep and the conditions are perfect for your brain and body. This is when we need a break and are ready to sleep and the time of day our body expects to go to sleep.

A baby’s sleep drive is very low between 4:00 - 6:00 am. We all slightly wake up multiple times during these early morning hours and we have learnt to go back to sleep. This is a skill your baby has to learn and may need our help.

For adults, sleep is an essential part of overall health. Getting enough sleep offers many physical benefits, while NOT getting enough sleep can interfere with work, driving, your sense of wellbeing and it is well documented that can lead to increases the risk of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, stroke, depression and effects on memory. If you are sleep deprived, it’s most likely your child is also sleep deprived and may be irritable, grumpy and struggling with settling for naps during the night or early morning wake ups.

Why does my baby or toddler wake up early?

Reasons your baby is waking early in the morning:

• The most likely reason is being overtired – contrary to what most parents believe waking early can be a sign of not enough sleep.

• The morning nap may be too long.

• The morning nap is too early and can, in fact, cause and then reinforce an early wake up as your baby needs to

• wake earlier to be ready to have a longer sleep.

• The afternoon nap is too late, this can really interfere with bedtime.

• Bed time too late – putting your child to bed later is not the answer to solving early wake ups.

• Light entering the room as the sun comes up.

• Social interaction – entering the room and engaging with your child.

As you can see there are a multitude of reasons why your baby or toddler is waking too early, so what can you do to solve this?

• A long gentle predictable ritual transition to bedtime, or a wind down period is recommended and keep this consistent every night. This should be no less than 10 -15 minutes. Have the house quiet, no TV, perhaps soft relaxing music, read a book or sing songs. Create a gentle and calming environment.

• Ensure their sleep schedule is age appropriate and at the correct times. Our circadian rhythms dictate the times of day that is best for babies to have their naps as their hormones and body temperature are at the optimum level for good sleeps so settling will be easier, there is reduced stress and crying, longer sleeps are more likely and your baby is will be happier.

• These nap windows fall 9 - 10am, 12 -2pm and 6 – 7 pm.

• Make sure they are getting enough sleep overall.

• Early bed time is essential.

• Hold off on feeding before 7am.

Fortunately, for most babies and toddlers, this is a stage they go through and our children won’t sleep badly forever. If you feel like you have tried everything and nothing is working for you and you’re feeling sleep deprived and exhausted, reach out and ask for professional help. At Mother in touch baby sleep consultant we look at your individual child and develop a strategy to help all the family sleep well.

Wishing you all the luck towards getting your sleep back!

Darkness

When do I teach my baby day and night?

Your baby knows day and night at around 8 weeks of age as they start to produce their melatonin, the sleep hormone, and this is far more readily produced in darkness. This hormone is crucial to your baby's settling and sleeping well.

Should my room be dark for daytime naps?

The fact is that babies find the dark extremely comforting and it will be a lot easier for your baby to settle and sleep in a dark room. Especially if your baby is over 2 months old as the dark promotes the release of melatonin.

White Noise

Does white noise work?

Babies have what are called “sleep arousals”, usually about every 20 to 45 minutes.

When they hit their sleep arousal at the 20-minute mark they are unable to fall back into a deeper sleep and thus their nap is over. White noise helps babies gently navigate these arousals to get longer, more restorative naps. It also helps to block out the noise of life (older siblings, doorbells, garbage trucks, etc.) that can interfere with naps and night sleep.

White noise is effective up until about 12 months old but can be particularly helpful for newborns as it simulates the womb environment. It needs to be very loud to be effective, like a vacuum cleaner and it needs to play continuously for the duration of naps and overnight sleep.

Swaddling

Swaddling is the art of snugly wrapping your baby for warmth and security. It calms your baby – and helps them settle and sleep longer.

Swaddling is effective for two reasons:

1. It emulates the confined feeling of being in the womb.

2. It prevents your baby from waking themselves up because of the startle reflex (also known as ‘moro’), which remains strong until around 4 months.

I recommend an arms-down swaddle – with a large wrap or commercial swaddle.

Sleep regression refers to a period of time, usually lasting about 3 to 6 weeks, during which a baby or toddler, who has been sleeping well, suddenly begins waking up at night, taking shorter naps, or skipping naps without any apparent reason. Parents often find themselves caught off guard as they think they have resolved all sleep-related issues, but suddenly, they are back to dealing with constant night wakings or nap refusal. Sleep regressions can occur at any age, but the most common ages are:

4 Month Sleep Regression

At around 3 to 4 months of age, a baby's sleep pattern undergoes a developmental change. At this stage, they start sleeping in stages and cycles similar to adults. The impact of this change on their sleep quality depends on how they fall asleep. If the baby has learned to fall asleep on their own, self-settle, without any assistance from you, this shift in sleep cycles may not affect their sleep much. However, if the baby is fed, rocked, or assisted in sleeping, they are more likely to experience frequent night wakings and short naps.

6 – 9 Month Sleep Regression

Between 6 and 9 months of age, babies start to become more mobile. They may be crawling or walking, and they may also be constantly teething during this period. At this stage, babies typically transition to taking two naps per day. However, it's common for separation anxiety to peak during this period, causing babies who once went to sleep peacefully to suddenly stand up and reach for their parents, refusing to follow their usual nap routine. Additionally, the transition from three to two naps can result in overtiredness, making it temporarily harder for babies to settle and sleep well.

18 month Sleep Regression

As toddlers reach the age of 18 months, they undergo another round of developmental milestones, which often leads to a period of sleep regression. During this time, toddlers go through a nap transition and adjust to staying awake for longer periods. This can cause them to become overtired. This period can be particularly challenging for parents because children start to test boundaries and become more independent. You may find that your toddler's new favourite word is "no". As a result, bedtime can become much more difficult as your child begins to experiment with their own ideas and may not go along with your established sleep routine. It's worth noting that sleep issues may even arise before this period, as a 12-month sleep regression is also common.

2 Year Regression

Many parents of two-year-old face two main sleep issues: nap refusal and bedtime battles. At this age, toddlers typically need longer periods of awake time to feel tired enough to sleep. This means they may resist settling down for naps and bedtime if they're offered too early. Additionally, their desire for independence and testing of boundaries can make bedtime a power struggle, especially during a toddler sleep regression. The emergence of two-year molars can also make it tough for toddlers to sleep, particularly if they're had sleep-related issues in the past.